Our relationships are as shallow as our lives. We do not know how to relate with one's own self. As a consequence of it, we just grope in the dark when it comes to relating with any Other. We live a life of conveniences and compromises. As long as it does not disturb the fundamental axis of our negotiated spaces, the show goes on. Pretty well, that too. We contrive stories to suit the nefaroius designs of our mind. And couch them in endearing terms and ennobling references. With the cunning of reason, we concoct extremely clever narratives on love and care, on responsibilities and duties, on give and take. In actuality, we only create a make-believe world where everything is faked and feigned. Behind every facade of courtship, there is a secret bargain hidden underneath. Which is tragic. But grossly real. The irreconcilable contradictions both from within and outside creates a fractured self which is drenched in inexplicable anguish and miserable loneliness, against the backdrop of the deafening silence of the universe.
Do all intimate relationships undergo crises of sorts and keep on floundering? Why should the bubble finally burst into pieces and plunge into nothingness? How many intimate relationships continue to flourish weathering the rough storms? Is it humanly possible to withstand the travails and turbulences of any relationship and still continue to be in love? One of the most profound chapters on love is in J.Krishnamurti's Freedom From The Known. ( http://www.jiddu-krishnamurti.net/en/freedom-from-the-known/1968-00-00-jiddu-krishnamurti-freedom-from-the-known-chapter-10 ). But apart from getting insights into the psychological understanding of one's own self and the intricate mechanisms of the mind, which might be possible on a serious reading of J.Krishnamurti and Erich Fromm, it is also imperative for a spiritual quest in order to comprehend the meaning of living and loving. Else, we would have to continue to wallow in the deceitful and treacherous manoeuvres of the human mind and carry on with the vanity of the self into an eternally perpetuating void.
Do all intimate relationships undergo crises of sorts and keep on floundering? Why should the bubble finally burst into pieces and plunge into nothingness? How many intimate relationships continue to flourish weathering the rough storms? Is it humanly possible to withstand the travails and turbulences of any relationship and still continue to be in love? One of the most profound chapters on love is in J.Krishnamurti's Freedom From The Known. ( http://www.jiddu-krishnamurti.net/en/freedom-from-the-known/1968-00-00-jiddu-krishnamurti-freedom-from-the-known-chapter-10 ). But apart from getting insights into the psychological understanding of one's own self and the intricate mechanisms of the mind, which might be possible on a serious reading of J.Krishnamurti and Erich Fromm, it is also imperative for a spiritual quest in order to comprehend the meaning of living and loving. Else, we would have to continue to wallow in the deceitful and treacherous manoeuvres of the human mind and carry on with the vanity of the self into an eternally perpetuating void.
Paris, Je t'aime (Paris, My Love) is a collage of 18 short-films directed by 22 different directors of various nationalities on the city of Paris which they all love. Each short film is about 5 to 7 minutes of duration with a remarkable story-telling on various facets of Paris with the multiple meanings in the lives of its human beings. Emmanuel Benbihy, who is mainly behind its production in 2006, had also produced a similar movie of short-films on the city of New York entitled New York, I Love You in 2009. In New York, I Love You, except Fatih Akin's short-film on the life and muse of a painter, the rest of them were a damp squib. May be because, the nature of New York city itself did not inspire the artists as much as Paris did and continues to do. I do not know. Paris, Je t'aime is a collection of short-films containing many delightful vignettes on the denizens of Paris and the splices of their broken contemporary lives. Though I have many other personal favourites in this collection on Paris, Faubourg Saint-Denis by Tom Tykwer stands out as a unique testament on love from the rest.
The story of the short-film by the German director Tom Tykwer gets unfolded in the neighbourhood of Faubourg Saint-Denis, which is an urban district in the city of Paris. Francine (the enigmatically beautiful Natalie Portman) who is an aspiring actress, telephones to her blind boyfriend Thomas (Melchior Beslon) and tells him that their relationship is over. Thereafter, the director delves us into a series of flashbacks, as the nostalgic images of their shared memories dazzle through the mind's eye of Thomas starting from their first encounter. Thomas recollects their wonderfully joyous relationship filled with passion and turbulence. The sudden phone call from his lover makes him reminisce about their torrid past. While he is sieves through the weft and warp of his love life, we too travel down the memory lanes and by-lanes. The short-film ends with another phone call from Francine, when he comprehends the intensity of how much he misses her and finally how the blind lover even starts seeing her. When Tom Tykwer felt creatively exhausted and personally adrift after his real life break-up with his lover Franka Potente, he created this moving portrait on love.
_____________________________________
Faubourg Saint-Denis ~ Tom Tykwer :
- "Yes?"
- "Thomas, listen!"
- "Francine?"
- "Listen!
There are times when life calls out for a change. A transition. Like the seasons. Our spring was wonderful, but summer is over now and we missed out on autumn. And now all of a sudden, it's cold, so cold that everything is freezing over. Our love fell asleep, and the snow took it by surprise. But if you fall asleep in the snow, you don't feel death coming. Take care."
It was the 15th of May
Spring was late to arrive and rain clouds were gathering
And you were screaming ~
Francine: "Let me out. Please! Bruno? Bruno you bastard! Bruno, i'm dying here! Please Bruno! Bruno Please! I can't take it anymore!"
Thomas: Hello!
Francine: "Why can't anybody hear me!"
Thomas: I hear you! Who is Bruno?
Francine: I'm rehearsing, can't you see?
Thomas: Umm no, sorry.
Francine: No, no, i'm sorry.
Thomas: You are an actress?
Francine: Trying to be... I've and audition today
Thomas: At the conservatoire?
Francine: Yeah.
Thomas: What kind of scene was that?
Francine: It's... it's from this pretty bad movie i was in once. It's my only one so far but... i'm this prostitute who gets beaten and raped by her pimp and then he locks her in this dark cell all day long and she goes nuts, but at the end they still get married.
Thomas: A pimp and a prostitute? Francine: (Sounds a bell) Shit! it's ten?
Thomas: So?
Francine: I have to be there at ten.
Thomas: I know a shortcut, come on!
Francine: Wait! Wait!
Thomas: This way.
Francine: Are you sure?
Thomas: Straight!
Francine: That was fast. Thanks!
Thomas: Good Luck!
And of course you were accepted
You left Boston and moved to live in Paris
A small apartment on the rue du Faubourg Saint-Denis
I showed you our neighbourhood, my bars, my school
I introduced you to my friends, my parents
I listened to you as you learned your lines
I listened to your singing, to your hopes, your desires
I listened to your music
And you listened to mine
You listened to my Italian, my German, my bits of Russian
I gave you a walkman and you gave me a pillow
And then one day, you kissed me
Time passed, time raced
And everything seemed so easy, so simple, free
So new and unique
We went to the movies
We went dancing, shopping
We laughed, you cried
We swam, we smoked, we shaved
From time to time you screamed, without reason
Sometimes with reason
Yes, sometimes with reason
I walked you to the Conservatory
I studied for my exams
I listened to your singing, to your hopes, your desires
I listened to your music
And you listened to mine
We were close, so close, ever closer
We went to the movies, we went swimming
We laughed together, you screamed
Sometimes with reason, and sometimes without
Time passed, time raced
I walked you to the Conservatory
I studied for my exams
You listened as I spoke Italian, German, Russian, French
I studied for my exams
You screamed, sometimes with reason
Time passed without reason
You screamed without reason
I studied for my exams
My exams, my exams, my exams
Time passed
You screamed, you screamed, you screamed
And then
I went to the movies
Alone
Forgive me, Francine!"
Thomas: Yes?
Francine: Hey what happened? You're gone all of a sudden. You hung up? Was it that bad? Thomas, are you still mad about yesterday?
Thomas: No...
Francine: Tell me, was it believable?... I see, shit! It doesn't work like that huh? How are you supposed to say: "our spring was wonderful; but summer's over" without sounding completely melodramatic? Ughh Whatever! The director loved it, so i have to find a way. Thomas, are you listening to me?
Thomas: No, I see you..
The shorter the duration is, more emphatic the film becomes. The soap opera directors would do the same stuff for many a year. By the way is the actress one of 'Black Swan' fame?
ReplyDeleteWhen I first read your post, I said, “Wow, a brilliant piece. Getting to read some original fiery writing after a long time!”. Being an ardent fan of yours there was no question of doubting what you had written! So I too embarked upon a journey traveling through the “lanes and bye-lanes” of memory, pondering how would life be without relationships?
ReplyDeleteWhat would it be like to not have anybody intimate around? What would it be like to be on your own? May be it will save us the pain caused by “façade of courtship”!!! There wouldn’t be any “inexplicable anguish” too!!! This loneliness (without relationships) may be much better than the “miserable loneliness” that Sathya talks about..
Well, what would I do then if I had no one around? I just wouldn’t care to live!
That’s when I felt, yes, you are perfectly right when you compared our lives with our relationships. Both are inseparable. However, whether it is to be shallow or profound is a choice that we have.
The smile on a child’s face, the pain when you see tears on a friend’s face, the pounding of heart when waiting for a loved one, the peaceful sleep when one rests on the mother’s lap, the bliss when somebody intimate gives you a hug, the touch of one’s beloved…. the list goes on and on…. All these are essential for survival. But expecting them to last for eternity will definitely make you sad. These emotions and feelings are true only in those moments. But they are true!!!
Definitely, there are going to be some intimate ones who may concoct narratives and not just hurt you, but kill you from within, but then….. that too is momentary.
We all seek relationships all the time. Whether social or personal, intimate or otherwise. But almost all of them fall woefully short of our expectations. Basically the devil lies in our expectation. If we do not seek anything, whatever we get or not get would either make us happy or would not perturb us. But the happiness again is a trap. Therefore the key is to maintain equanimity with all objects and relations of the world at all times. As Tulsidas has said "Tulsi mamta RAM se, samata sab sansar". That may be highest spiritual discipline and one difficult to attain. But even small begining in this direction would be of immense benefit putting at rest the treachery of human mind.
ReplyDelete"BEHIND EVERY FACADE OF COURTSHIP, THERE IS A SECRET BARGAIN LURKING UNDERNEATH. Which is tragic. But grossly real."
ReplyDelete- How true are these words of yours! I've been undergoing a serious crisis in my intimate relationships. And that's why your timing of the blog on this subject matter has become coincidentally god-sent. Unless you've also undergone all those ups and downs, truths and lies, deceptions and agonies, passions and plateaus, it would be difficult to comprehend the intensity of all this.
The hyper-link to J.Krishnamurti has given me a radically new perspective on love and relationships. J.Krishnamurti says -
"There is pain in it, anxiety, hate and violence. So what you are really saying is, `As long as you belong to me I love you but the moment you don't I begin to hate you. As long as I can rely on you to satisfy my demands, I love you, but the moment you cease to supply what I want I don't like you'."
A reading of that Chapter by J.Krishnamurti has given a tight slap on my so-called understanding of love. This fundamentally questions my beliefs and ideas on relationships. How am I to get rid of the fakeness and duplicity, and genuinely love anyone? Is it possible to break away from the past and start life afresh?
Perhaps, a spiritual quest would make me gain equanimity as Pankaj says. What if the spiritual quest itself is a fake escapism from the harsh and brutal reality of life? One has to be careful to tread a path in solitude and bliss, without falling into any of the quick-fix traps around. That is no easy task.
The short-film by Tom Tykwer is splendidly poetic. It depicts the meteoric rise and imminent fall of a passionate relationship in all its varied hues and colours. Only the last phone-call seems to be more of a fantasy and a longing of the lover than actuality!
By the way of sharing this short film,
ReplyDeleteLOVE - the way and the WORK AROUND what you had shared is remarkable.
Using the JK's link is absolute and appropriate. It sweeps my all dust and lust for a moment..
Sorry to repeat your words once again, as nothing to spell anything rather to respell it..
"...Our relationships are as shallow as our lives. We do not know how to relate with one's own self. As a consequence of it, we just grope in the dark when it comes to relating with any Other. We live a life of conveniences and compromises. As long as it does not disturb the fundamental axis of our negotiated spaces, the show goes on. Pretty well, that too. We contrive stories to suit the nefaroius designs of our mind. And couch them in endearing terms and ennobling references. With the cunning of reason, we concoct extremely clever narratives on love and care, on responsibilities and duties, on give and take. In actuality, we only create a make-believe world where everything is faked and feigned. Behind every facade of courtship, there is a secret bargain hidden underneath. Which is tragic. But grossly real. The irreconcilable contradictions both from within and outside creates a fractured self which is drenched in inexplicable anguish and miserable loneliness, against the backdrop of the deafening silence of the universe..."
Apart from this short film, am very much impressed on both of sathyaMOORTHY and krishnMOORTHY's LOVE in sharing...
In JK's word-
Like a flower that has perfume you can smell it or pass it by. That flower is for everybody and for the one who takes trouble to breathe it deeply and look at it with delight.
Sathyu has as usual raised many questions, many issues, many depths to be fathomed, many things to be pondered on and a challenge to come face to face with the reality of self and the true contours and colours of one's relationship with others..Whether a relationship endures the emotional storms, the changes in the beloved's personality and the external circumstances and what are the underpinnings of a relationship need to be explored.there may be bargains also but nevertheless, each relationship has some traces of love and emotional bonds which make them endure as long as they do.whether we explore ourselves through our own self or through relationships with others,there is not really much difference.When we love others, love comes to us multiplied manyfold.When we take our relationships as a mirror, they will reflect our self.Till our self is fractured, the relationships will show cracks.when the self is whole, everything, every single cell of the body to the universe will vibrate in harmany.It is all a process of evolution of our soul.
ReplyDeleteJust recently, in the story of prince, He had talked of the courtship, the little games of love and the fragrance and joy they bring to our lives.This joy is the essence of our lives and should be carefully nurtured.This heals the soul and the complete being of a person.
ON need not worry about fulfilled or unfulfilled expectations-they are momentary but the fragrance of love is what pulls and keeps the attraction alive in a relationship.Equnimity is an ideal-it means two things-either one kills the emotions or becomes so full of love that they overflow to everyone like the sun which shines its radiance on everyone. When one fills the heart with love, it is no more a spiritual discipline, it is the joy of a radiant heart spreading like sunshine to evryone, like the fragrance of flower which fills the atmosphere surrounding it.and that is what JK has also said in numerous ways.The only way to be that flower is when the cup of love in one's heart is full to the brim and overflowing like that of the Gurus, the sages and the arihants .